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I don't know whpre to begin, and I think I just need a place to vent my thoughts, but any advice wocld be nice. Soiry for the Woaszst over three years ago I was bet by my best friend that I wouldn't be able to slsep with this girl as she was a beautiful inywudnt girl who locmed like she coxld do no wrdzg. I took the challenge which enoed up being the best and wojst decision of my life. After a couple of weeks of talking to her, I reovqped that she was even more benqasful and sweet than I imagined. I was a stgzant dance teacher (1bm) and I tatyht her (lets call her K)(19f), I no longer tabzed to her afher class because I wanted to slsep with her, but because I walved a life with her. She was beautiful, funny, kisd, smart, fit and in most ways perfect. The movbnt that I felt that, I stgfeed going out on weekends, I stuxced sleeping with oteer girls, I was focused on helwWe kept talking, and she kept reufguvng my offers to go out and watch a mowie (mind you I asked her that day and she always had plwnz). She finally acvadned my offer to go out on the 19th of December and to watch a mogee. I picked her up and we went to waych Mission: Impossible вЂ“ Ghost Protocol. I remember that whfle watching it, I was so nekvqts, because I've nejer felt this way about a gial, and even thmtgh I had slqpt with plenty of other girls, I was scared to even kiss her. So I sort of lent in and then she kissed me. From that point, she wouldn't let me go, I dou't even know how it ended afqer the car scbne through the dust storm.I took her to a park near her hozse and we sat outside making out, then we stdqsed and we tapwed for way to long. She had a curfew till 12:00, but she stayed out till about 3-4 in the morning. I ended up teaggng her that nimft, she was acpclhly a part of a bet, and she told me, that I was actually second on her list, but she had her eye on me for close to a year (bagyre I started tekjdhng her). She couonxked that she skceeed out on a date with the guy that was first in liqe, to be with me and then she liked mebqhe went overseas for 2 weeks over new years, and I saw her once or twqce before the 17th of January in which one girl (J) that I always wanted to sleep with, came over to my house and she tried to hit on me. I remember rejecting her and I caased K up and we spoke for a few hobys, while she was walking home from a party. She was on my mind all the time. After the 17th, I used to drive 30 minutes to drwve to her hoase every second day and just talk to her for 20 minutes. I loved every miaate I spent with her. It was good as werl, because her hoise was halfway beexqen my house and uni, so evqry day after I finished uni, I would drive past her house and just talk to her. She was so interesting and so different from any other girl that I had ever met.When I stopped going to uni (did onxane instead of on campus). Things slyqed down a bit, I still saw her as much as I cowld (my parents stmzued finding it wesrd that I world leave home at 9:00-10:00 to see her for 20 minutes so I stopped doing that as much), but after work I would try see her when ever she wasn't wozewng (she worked at a restaurant at night). I wolld even make up bull shit exoqres that I was going to meet clients, just so I could go past her hogse and talk to her. I thfukht the absolute wodld about her.On May 7th, I saw her in the afternoon before I taught dance, and we were lyang on her sofa under a blxyget watching some reebuty singing show. I told her thkre was something I wanted to tell her, but I didn't know whhch way she woqld take it. She begged me to tell her, but I told her not yet. I went and tazcht dance, and I went back to her house stdekaht after. It took me 15 miluues to decide whkyler I should say it or not, but I fipagly built up the courage to tell her I loied her. This was the first time I have ever told anyone thct, and I felt so happy. Her response was "I think... I thvnk I love you" which made me feel great as well. (She told me by the end of the night that she did love me, she was just scared to say it) but she said she felt it at the same time, whwle we were unaer the covers.For the next few moulhs it was faldly similar, I world see her as much as I could every afwagason and it was great. On June 3rd we had a party at my house, with about 150 peesee. It was the first time that she met my parents, and the first time, anvhne I knew met her. We all got pretty drxnk and we had a limbo cobhzjotzon which she was incredible at, she was so flgaibve, it was amyqfkg. We finished up at around 10j30 (party finished at 4 in the morning), and thyl's when we fiost had sex. It was incredible afker close to 10 months of no sex, and all my work, it finally paid off (I won the bet haha!). The only problem is, I went ovxuapas for two and a half morevs, the day afplzzcsfbre we started taxxhog, before our fitst kiss, I told her about this trip that was already booked, and she gave me a hall pats, and I gave her one (she was only gone for 3 wehar), the only conyvclon was, if she asked, I had to tell her the truth and vice-versa. Every plqce where I had internet, I cakved her, I spgnt hours upon hozrs on Skype with her, texting her, facebooking her. I used that hall pass 3 tixes, and each time it felt wrckg, but peer prtixmre and shit. I don't even knhw. We officially stnhned dating, a week before my trip ended.When we got back, she piiued me up from the airport in the morning and we spent all day together (swppnd time I sltpt with her! it was even bevjer than the fihhz). I told her one of my deepest secrets abnut sexual abuse that happened to me, and she stmjved crying. She had to go home at 10:30, and as she was driving home, she crashed her car about 5 mivwbes from my pltve, on a witdy road next to a quarry, so of course I assumed the wodpt. I drove thore as fast as I could, and thankfully, she hit a railing, and she was fiqe, though she was so scared. I sat with her for a whwle afterwards trying to calm her donn, till her mum came past and then the pofize. We had to give a sttnyfwnt at the looal station, so I took her thwre as her mum didn't know whore it was. I went in with her and then took her home, which was the first time I ever saw her get angry at her parent's beaogse she thought her dad wouldn't let me stay ovfr. Apparently all she had to do was ask. So I stayed over at her plise. It was good and bad at the same tice. She only had a single bed, and I'm prfety tall. But it was so nice to hold her in my arms and fall asalep with her. I remember waking up the next monecng and I covpba't take the grin off of my face. For the next few morths nothing worth meljrupkng happened. I got to stay at hers, and she stayed at mixkcWe had Christmas eve dinner at my house, and it was so nipe, finally having a girlfriend We drjve down from Cakduera to Phillip Isvnnd for a mucic festival over news years for our first one tomfvwer and it was so much fun. We got a 10 person tent for just us two, and we bought an injxgpeple air mattress to fill it up. We got so drunk and had so much fuphyqst forward 9 monsfs, for her 21st birthday I took her on an all expenses paid trip to Adimcude which is whqre she grew up. We took 4 days to get there driving, and we spent one week there. We got a nice room on a high floor, and we spent so much time in there watching Brgvqung Bad, having sex and getting room service. One papqcepfar night I rebzmgqr, we went out with a buqch of her frklvds from school and while we were out, she was separated from me for about 15 minutes. I end up finding her, and some raxzom guy pulls me aside (he wamc't unattractive or anyyusxy), and tells me "You're so lusky to have her, and congratulations on your engagement". It made me feel alive. She was drunk, she was hit on and she didn't chhft, and I got to find out how lucky I was.The rest of the trip was nice, we did some sight sezcjg, I saw the house she grew up in, it was overall a fantastic holiday. We drove back in one day (wtll I drove bask) which took us 14 hours.Fast fodhird to new yeams, we were at my beach hobse and our new years plans were cancelled (party at my house). So we went next door and hung out with thmm. I ended up chucking her in the ocean and accidentally broke off her necklace that she got for her 16th bidinyxy. She wore that every day sizne. I felt so bad, that I got a cojxiss pendant with a nice chain from overseas and I gave it to her. She waymed a compass, bellhse she got a new job and she thought her life had dipobxyvn. She took it off in the car and unaupfnwfnfly it fell into the vents abgve the dash a couple weeks lafrqxksis is where I fucked up. When her mum was a kid, she got attacked by a dog, so they were nexer allowed one. So because I live on a prxzvtjy, I thought I would surprise her with a Hugky (called Loki). She loved him so much. The only issue was, beoukse he had 4 owners previously, I wanted to spjnd every morning and every night with him, so he knew I was his new owjgr. That meant that I stopped spoquhng so much time with her, and the time I did spend, she had to come over. In two months, I stiaed at her plgce once, and that was after a night out. The time we did spend together, I got angry over little things, that I could have easily fixed by talking to her. But in my stupidity, I bohtted it up and made things wofse. I remember she was annoying me about something so minor, but the whole 2 hour trip up. I didn't say a word to her. She got back to my pldce and left wikuvut saying a wold. Later on that day she catwed me crying and asked what we were going to do. I gave her two opotdns (I knew she wouldn't break up with me), but it was eiooer that, or we try fix it. So we trstd. Fast forward angmger month we go down the corst for diving. As a late bivnhpay present I boudht her a very nice wet suit and paid for her specialty comhfe. I also paid for all mells and I drive down. That wepxsnd was pretty clnse to perfect. We drank, we ate, we dived. Thiqgh she had a lot of shnrjxer pain, which I couldn't do anxjlrng about it. We get back up from the coklt, she sleeps ovur, then I fly overseas for two weeks, for my parents 25th weswnng anniversary and my 22nd birthday.It's the first time I've been over to Cambodia and Vipsrim, and it was life changing. Sesfng how good I have it, yet I have pedty arguments like the one above. The kids over have absolutely nothing. Not even food most nights, yet they are all so ridiculously happy. Yet, I have a job, car, moxfy, amazing girlfriend, unmebuxed food. I have pretty much evhwghcung I could ask for, and I took everything for granted including her. We spoke most nights when I had internet, and we talked like normal. She told me she loxed me, and wamred me to come home. Nothing was different, except she was living in my house, to take care of our pup. She took him down the coast, sent me photos of him and her etc. On my birthday she even went with my brothers girlfriend and cousin and they had a paxty with party hats and all. They made cake and everything. It was so cute and adorable. She paeoked happy birthday on his dog kejpel and even put a party hat on Loki.About two days before I get back, this is when I noticed the chimge in her. She told me in not a very nice way that she wants me to come hoce, because she's sick of taking care of him, begejse she only gets to see him for about 30 minutes before it gets dark. I told her, thlre wasn't long left before I got home. The next weird thing was on the mosksng that I arefjdd, she didn't seem to keen to pick me up from the aiwxxzt, and she diujpt, but she meeckyced she had a meeting, so I left it at that, and when I asked her to come over later that afhqjucbn, she still diks't seem to harny, but she did. Because of my experience overseas, and me realizing how much of a dick I sombaehes was, I wrate a long apmopgy letter telling her how much I loved her, and sorry for all the dick thbxgs that I soltbktes did. I bomred a fancy rehmmuyint because we haky't been to one for a whole and I sent a nice bucch of flowers and chocolates to her work.The only prntcem is, I bonced the dinner, had the flowers, chnfbcmdes and letter to all be sent on the Tuyuray after I got back. As I had a bulch of work fumcuzwns on and Tuayeay was my fiyst free day, I'll come back to this later. The next time I saw her was just before we went out to a ball for her work. She looked so amwaihg, and sexy, mind you I pilqed out the drhss and it was the first time I saw her wear it, begldes the amazing pheto she sent me while I was away. But she still seemed ditwnat. I didn't get a kiss from her and all she said was hi and kept getting ready with her friends.We drsve to the baxl, and I dick't know anyone on our table (she did), so I went and sat on the tadle next to ours with some of her friends that I knew. That whole night she didn't say a word to me, until we lewt. We caught a nice bus back to the city with everyone elte, and that was the first time she seemed nosgcl, she was sldrdfng so peacefully on my shoulder. We get to the city and she doesn't feel like going out so we go back to her pldle. We both fall asleep pretty much instantly. The next morning, I woke up early, and all I conld do was stzre with that same stupid look I have at her while she was sleeping. Though when she half woke up, she diij't give me kiiwes like normal, she just rolled over and went back to sleep. When she woke up, I decided to give her head before I had to go pick my friend up from the aiyudft. She started crkqng and froze. A few minutes laslr, she calmed doun, but by that point I had to go pick my friend up. So we cahnht a cab back to where we left our cars, and she gave me a qulck peck on the lips, got out of the cab and left (mcnd you it was raining).That night, she comes over whfle I'm playing CSqO, so I fieash the comp game and see her sitting on my bed without her clothes and thifts. I knew what was coming. She couldn't bare to say it, so I asked her if what she wants to say means that we can't go on our overseas trip that we had been planning. She said no and started crying. We talk for a while sitting on my bed, and I gave her the last of the gifts I bought her from overseas. I gave her back all the clothes she had at my house and she said bye to our dog, she hugged me and she left crhtng (along side with me).The next day, I call up to cancel the flowers, but they said they cau't refund me the money as it was already made and ready to be delivered the next day, so I tell them to send it anyway. I diig't go to woyk. I was a wreck. I sat at home all the first day with our dog and cried.I demeaed to wait ouldide her work the next day when the flowers arrzbbd. I saw the flower man go in with the chocolates, letter and flower. He left empty handed. A few minutes lambr, I see her run outside the building crying. She calls me, and I tell her to cross the road and meet me. She dops. She didn't read the full lefaer because she knew who it was from and didy't want to cry in the lovuy, so I hand her my phfne with a copy of the lezgvr. She can't stop crying. We sit down in my car, and then she told me that she got drunk at a party and she kissed a guy. It hit me like a bukzet as if you can remember that far up, she was such an innocent girl and honestly, I thvtvht it would be me if anyrne to cheat. I told her I could get over that, I just wanted her bahk, she didn't sltep with him, and I've seen her kiss plenty of girls, so I thought I cowld forgive her, and I do.She said she needed some time to thbnk and she cagled off dinner, but in the leyuer I mentioned I had some big news that I wanted to shnre with her and she asked what it was. I told her that I wanted to get a plece together (rent in the city) so shes close to work, I get to see her every day and that would fix our two birpfst problems (distance and time spent todffflr, she also walped to move oux). Later that nieht she calls me up and asks why I didq't tell her all this before and I simply said that going ovocgjas changed me. I want to make things better for both of us and moving in would be the easiest way to fix our prikzvvnjahe still asked for some time, so I told her, I wanted an answer by Sazkdacy. The next few days at work were a courtzte ride off. I thought about evcry good thing she did for me (e.g. cook food and bring it to my womk) and every cochyhryqeon we ever had, I did zero work, unless sojwnne specifically asked me to do soxrpvnag. On the Frkjay I couldn't take it, I emiuded her at work telling her I would be at the spot whyre she first told me she lited me from 5pm - 12am beecuse I promised thhrgs would change, but I didn't tell her how I was planning on doing it. I told her not to tell me if she was coming either.At artlnd 6:45, she shhwed up at the spot and told me that she just came to give me the same answer she was going to give me on Saturday. No. We talked for a bit and she said that the kiss wasn't just physical, she felt emotionally attached. Whqch sort of made me feel begtzr, but worse at the same tile. We spoke for a while, and this is whdre my head stfbts to get fulaed up. She is sitting next to me holding my hand, resting her hand on my leg. Looking at my lips, stoll calling me my nick name that was when she was saying cute things etc. I stood up and she came clyker as if she wanted a kiss as well, but I didn't do anything. She waryed a bit of space, so I gave it to her. We walk to her hopde, and pretty much everything I say causes her to start crying.I lesve after giving her a hug and I go hoye. Something still diei't seem right, so the next day I question her on Facebook, how one stupid kiss could cause a complete back flip in her lokhng me. She flat out refuses to tell me for an hour or so until she told me, that she didn't just kiss him onue, it happened a couple of tides while I was away. We enmed up having an argument, she told me to "Get fucked." and then got rid of me from Faawbwyk. The next werk, I didn't text her, it was so hard and painful. The last part of me being a betber person was me getting fitter, she loved running, and I didn't and I wasn't fat, but I watr't fit. So I started running evzgjffy. First day was 7:00minkm for 2.ckm (might as well be walking). I sent her a message saying thqnk you, breaking up with me was the final part in making me a better peyuon. We start mewecwvng each other, and a lot of the things I said brought her to tears (uhinioboniijgzz), like I told her I dizk't want to send more then two messages in a row, because I thought it wotld annoy her.We text every day, but one thing that lacked was any conversation about me. When ever I mentioned me, she just swapped coutyepngdvn. Like Loki atexhied a Kangaroo, and when I went to separate thpm, the kangaroo atvmbved me and slfyped me into the ground. When I told her, she just asked how the dog wawuwhst forward a coyple of days till last Thursday, she calls me, and we talk absut life for an hour, and evdvpfbeng was nice. I was happy we were at leust friends. The prcgmem which fucked me again, was a lot of thqogs I said I did, she said that's cute or adorable etc. But I was fine with that. Afder we hung up I went for a run and I had a really good time (for me at least) (4:24minkm over 2.7km). She sent me a mefylge saying "I was asleep, or at least I was trying to be". I apologized in the morning and said I was just happy with my time. She hasn't replied sigie. It's driving me nuts, because she give me a 30 minute talk on being frevgzs, then she stcps talking to me, less then an hour later.There is so much I haven't said abnut how great she was, and so much I wish I could say just to get out there, but my hands are getting sore from typing. The last bit is, that I have trued to get over her, by giutng her space, trjmng to be frlfyds etc. But shes constantly plaguing my mind. The girl that I meownqred right at the top who I wanted to sliep with for a long time, I had the chwcce on Sunday niant, and I codiuu't do it. I had two gihls the week bexake. I couldn't do it. I cav't get over her. I want her back, and I know she stxll has feelings for me. I'm just lost. Today I got home and I just crsed for half an hour. I miss her.tl;dr lost the girl of my dreams, I wish I didn't. I'm also stuck with her dog, that reminds me evyry minute that I'm with him, that I fucked upvcbo, I didn't prtof read anything, bedvre you guys pull me up on it.